Open Letter to Ms. Lindsay Lohan
Dear Lindsay,
For a celebrity with as much promise and potential as Linday Lohan, I wonder where the fuck her common sense went. Seriously. Comedy Central's height of comedy was Dave Chappelle's Show, but he quit and travelled to Africa to solve his problems. What does Linday Lohan do? You snort coke off lesbian DJ's navels and boozes it up at VIP parties with a monitoring bracelet on her ankle. Yet, she's pictured here:
On her right ankle, you can see it. Seriously, you've got to ask - What the fuck, LL? Are you a cum dumpster? Get your shit together.
Quit trying to crash your career like Corey Haim did (RIP). Any Juliard School actor in their Freshman year could replace you in moments with your roles in cult classics like I Know Who Killed Me, box-office bomb Georgia Rule when you hardly showed up on set for shooting and paycheck movie Just My Luck. With that being said, you've made good films: Mean Girls, Herbie: Fully Loaded, written by Thomas Lennon and Rob Ben Garant, Prairie Home Companion and Machete.
To conclude, all I'm trying to point out to you LL: stop the debauchery and work on acting again. I think you've got talent, kid. Show it. P.S I don't think you're a cum dumpster. I'm just kiddin (or am I?).
Sincerely, Concerned & Non-Loving fan
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